Welcome to the 'LaughWorks' - Page 3 - ABA DSS

**marty napier** · June 16th, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackbart

how to catch a catfish

nice catfish blackbart

**marty napier** · June 16th, 2009

HERE IS A BIG CATFISH BLACKBART 63BLS.

dirtywill2001 · June 16th, 2009

You might be a Free TV'er if...

* 10. You believe that purchasing a FTA Box should entitle you to lifetime fixes, regardless of changes to the datastream.
* 9. Every time a storm cloud blocks the signal you jump on tricks to post, "Are We Down?"
* 8. You've never owned an ISO, let alone created your own tier list and/or blocker.
* 7. A Major ECM is implemented, and you cuss your boxes Manufacturer for not releasing a fix in 5 minutes
* 6. Even though fixes are posted the minute they are released, you feel compelled to start 3 different threads asking, "Is there a fix yet?"
* 5. You blame Map57 for your divorce
* 4. You have absolutely no clue what DEADBEEFBAADF00D is
* 3. When your signal scrambles for any reason you immediately post HELP
* 2. Someone tells you that their brother's wife's cousin's uncle's neighbor hacked N3.. and you believe them
* The #1 reason you might be a Free TV'er... You don't find any of these funny at all.

**blackbart** · June 16th, 2009

Is there a fix yet???????????????????? LMAO!!

**Victor Hugo** · June 16th, 2009

A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right

**Victor Hugo** · June 16th, 2009

Grass is Greener?
Diana, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, 'Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?'
'I would love to do that,' replied Diana's husband, 'but the problem is..........she won't let me.

**Victor Hugo** · June 16th, 2009

The Bathroom
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from a hotel chain.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

**blackbart** · June 16th, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by Victor Hugo

Grass is Greener?
Diana, one evening, drew her husband's attention to the couple next door and said, 'Do you see that couple? How devoted they are? He kisses her every time they meet. Why don't you do that?'
'I would love to do that,' replied Diana's husband, 'but the problem is..........she won't let me.

There's trouble!!!

**jell691** · June 16th, 2009

At their high school reunion Sarah and Esther meet up for the first time in fifty years
Sarah begins to tell Esther about her children: "My son is a doctor and he's got four kids. My daughter is married to a lawyer and they have three great kids. So tell me Esther, how about your kids?"
Esther replies, "Unfortunately, Morty and I don't have any children and so we have no grandchildren either."
Sarah says, "No children.... and no grandchildren! So tell me, Esther, what do you do for aggravation?"

**jell691** · June 16th, 2009

There once was a girl from Vancouver
Whose mouth had the strength of a Hoover;
When she turned it on high,
A week would pass by,
Before anyone could remove her.

**jell691** · June 16th, 2009

There once was a villian most feared,
Who tied a lass to a train track then leered,
But he tied her up wrong-ways,
Not cross-ways but long-ways,
And a forty car train disappeared!

**jell691** · June 16th, 2009

A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doctor, you must help me. Every night I dream that I'm driving a truck from Pittsburgh to New York. I'm so tired I can hardly get up in the morning."
The doctor says, "Tell you what. Next time you have this dream, just call me and I'll come over and drive the truck for you."
The man tries it, and is cured.
Another patient tells the doctor, "I have this same dream every night. I'm making love to four beautiful women, and by morning I'm totally exhausted. Can you help me?"
The doctor says, "Tell you what, next time you have this dream, just call me and I'll come and take a couple of them off your hands."
Two weeks later the man with the over sex problem goes back to the psychiatrist and says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Now these women are bringing their friends, and they're all getting so demanding. I'm so tired I can barely get through the day. Can't you do something?"
"You should have called me." the doctor replied. "I told you I'd take a couple of them off your hands."
"But Doc," he said, "I've been calling you every night, and your service keeps telling me you're out driving a truck from Pittsburgh to New York."

**jell691** · June 16th, 2009

Our very lovely friend Cheri, recently attended her High School reunion on a trip home to her beloved hills of West Va. and was having a great time.
- As the evening was drawing to a close, the master of ceremonies for the night proceeded to hand out bottles of champagne to the graduates for various reasons, who had travelled the farthest distance to attend the reunion, the graduate who had been married the longest time, the graduate who had become the most successful, etc.
- Cheri' began to wonder if she too was going qualify for a prize too. when sure enough, the master of ceremonies called out her name. "Cheri, you win with having the most, 11 , kids." and then, trying to be clever, he added in "And champagne is only half the prize. The other half is a giant, economy size bottle of aspirin."
- When Cheri' got up on the podium she announced,
- "Don't bother with the aspirin, It must be obvious that with all the kids that I've never ever had a headache."

**jell691** · June 16th, 2009

Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
A: Pick him up and suck his ****.

**tiger-55** · June 16th, 2009

A guy is walking past a bus stop and says to a woman "Can I smell your cu*t?" "Fu*k off, no you can't smell my cu*t!" the woman yells back at him, "Oh" he replies, looking slightly confused, "it must be your feet then

**tiger-55** · June 16th, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by jell691

Q: How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
A: Pick him up and suck his ****.

Gross....gross.....gross.............thanks jell

**creativegenius** · June 16th, 2009

I just wanted to take a second, and thank everyone for using this Forum/Thread to post Jokes and such in, it really has made the Forum as a whole run smoother, and while you may not be able to tell, the Mods and Admin team noticed immediately.

Thank you all!

Creative Genius

**jell691** · June 16th, 2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by creativegenius

I just wanted to take a second, and thank everyone for using this Forum/Thread to post Jokes and such in, it really has made the Forum as a whole run smoother, and while you may not be able to tell, the Mods and Admin team noticed immediately.

Thank you all!

Creative Genius

i'm not a mod but when i logged on and saw more fta related posts instead of humor posts its easy to understand the problem. glad we could figure something out. it also helps me on cleaning up my user cp with the subscribed threads.

dirtywill2001 · June 16th, 2009

An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered to the driver, I have a dead pu$$y.

The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.

Nitrain · June 16th, 2009

There once was a lad from Madras, who's b@lls were made out of brass, When jangled together they played "Stormy Weather", and sparks shot out of his @$$.