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Old June 14th, 2009   #1 (permalink)
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Welcome to the 'LaughWorks'

What did the gay man say to the census taker?
"Well, I was born in Chicago but reared in San Francisco."
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Old June 15th, 2009   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Welcome to the 'LaughWorks'

Great idea CG. This way all jokes can be posted here without having to go to Humor section and posting a new thread. It will also clear up the New Posts on forum page for FTA questions. OK guys post all your funny and way out jokes here, one after another...LOL
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Old June 15th, 2009   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Welcome to the 'LaughWorks'

you got it!!! glad we could figure something out.
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Old June 15th, 2009   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Welcome to the 'LaughWorks'

thanks CG ,i myself think thats a great idea.
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Old June 15th, 2009   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Welcome to the 'LaughWorks'

Quote:
Originally Posted by creativegenius View Post
Greetings ABA Nation:

To maximize and help streamline the operation of the Forums here at ABABdss, if you have ANY Joke you'd like to post, please post it here in this the 'LaughWorks' thread.

This will allow ALL of our members and guests the ability to enjoy and share a joke with each other, while helping to keep the forum running smoothly.

Enjoy your visit ...

Brilliant CG. This should make life a little easier for some!!!! Thanks!!
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Old June 15th, 2009   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Welcome to the 'LaughWorks'

Don't thank me, thank Jell ...

They deserve FULL PROPS on this one!

Balls now in your court guys - 'GAME ON'

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Old June 15th, 2009   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Welcome to the 'LaughWorks'

Thanks jell, Blackbart, and all you guys that enjoy posting the funnies. Now post your best jokes...
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Old June 15th, 2009   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Welcome to the 'LaughWorks'

here's one to kick it off!!! and please feel free to exercise your thank you button!!

A mother worries that her teenage daughter is having sex and might get pregnant, so she consults several parenting websites for advice.

Later that evening, as her daughter prepares for a date, the mother sits down to talk with her. "I know you are adult enough to make the right decision about your body. But I want you to please try to abstain from sex until you're married. If you must have sex, then please use protection."

Feeling proud of herself for being so pro-active, the mother hands her daughter a box of condoms.

The daughter laughs and hugs her mother. "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating a girl!"
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Old June 15th, 2009   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Welcome to the 'LaughWorks'

A Woman in a store buys milk and bread.

Man at counter: “Bet your’e single”.

Woman: “Yes! You knew it because of what I bought?”.

Man: “No, I knew cause Your Ugly"
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Old June 15th, 2009   #10 (permalink)
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Re: Welcome to the 'LaughWorks'

Good News & Some bad News

Doctor: "I have good news and bad. The good is you have 24 hours to live."

Patient: "Oh no! then what's the bad news?"

Doctor: “I forgot to call you yesterday."

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Old June 15th, 2009   #11 (permalink)
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Re: Welcome to the 'LaughWorks'

doctor: "well sir, I have bad news"

patient: "what is it"

doctor: "well, you have cancer and alzheimer's"

patient: "oh, well at least I don't have cancer"
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Old June 15th, 2009   #12 (permalink)
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Re: Welcome to the 'LaughWorks'

The Prison Joke Book

At a Prison in the South, there is only one Joke Book, and as you might well imagine, its very popular... in fact it is the most popular book at the Prision's Library. It is so popular in fact that many of the Inmates have memorized the Jokes by number.

So just before 'lights out' people start telling jokes, so you'll hear one inmate call out #5 at the top of his lungs, a few seconds later the whole range is howling in laughter ...

This is followed by another yelling, #11, e-l-e-v-e-n, again the place erupts in to a sea of laughter. This goes on a while longer and a guy yells out #5 at the top of his lungs, once again the explodes in to fits of laughter.

17, 10, 6, all get shouted out, just as before the place explodes in fits of laughter.

One of the newer guys, facinated by this whole thing, yells out #5 at the top of his lungs ... dead silence.

Puzzled, he asks his cell mate, why didn't anyone laugh when I yelled out #5 at the top of my lungs ...?

The cellmate replies, boy, you just dont know how to tell a good joke.

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Old June 15th, 2009   #13 (permalink)
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Re: Welcome to the 'LaughWorks'

doctor - i suspect you might have cancer
patient- i would like a second opinion
doctor - your ugly too
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Old June 15th, 2009   #14 (permalink)
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Re: Welcome to the 'LaughWorks'

a new inmate asked a fellow prisoner what you do for fun in here ,he replied on monday we play basketball ,on tuesday we play baseball ,then the prisoner asked the new inmate if he was gay ,he replied no, well your not going to like wednesday..
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Old June 15th, 2009   #15 (permalink)
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A Legal Question

Is this statutory rape???


Moose.rar

Or just a moosedemeanor.....?
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Old June 15th, 2009   #16 (permalink)
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Re: A Legal Question

Why don't roosters pee?
Because they eat with their pecker.
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Old June 15th, 2009   #17 (permalink)
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Re: A Legal Question

a woman walks into a supermarket, and notices a male customer whose zipper is
undone. The woman kindly says" excuse me sir,but your barracks doors are open".
Not having a clue what the woman was talking about he continued shopping. A few
moments later another customer approached the man and explained that his zipper
was undone. The man zipped up and continued his shopping. At the checkout he ran
into the woman who originally informed him of his zipper.He decides to play into
her unusual comment; "excuse me maam, when you noticed my barracks door was
open, did you happen to see a soldier standing at full attention?" The woman
responded by saying " no, all i saw was a disabled vet sitting on two duffle
bags"
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Old June 15th, 2009   #18 (permalink)
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Re: A Legal Question

A mother worries that her teenage daughter is having sex and might get pregnant, so she consults several parenting websites for advice.

Later that evening, as her daughter prepares for a date, the mother sits down to talk with her. "I know you are adult enough to make the right decision about your body. But I want you to please try to abstain from sex until you're married. If you must have sex, then please use protection."

Feeling proud of herself for being so pro-active, the mother hands her daughter a box of condoms.

The daughter laughs and hugs her mother. "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating a girl!"
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Old June 15th, 2009   #19 (permalink)
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Re: A Legal Question

Maybe you heard about the man whose credit card was stolen but decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did.
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Old June 15th, 2009   #20 (permalink)
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Re: A Legal Question

Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.
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