Drafting over 60

[blackbart]

I am over 60 andthe Armed Forces think I'm too old to track down terrorists. Youcan't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing***-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought totake us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you'reat least 35.

For starters: Researchers say18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only thinkabout sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additionalseconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.


Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a crankysoldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'mtired and hungry' We are impatient and maybe letting us kill some ******* that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up fora while.



An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10 a.m.Old guys always get up early to pee so what the hell. Besides, like I said,'I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical SOB....



If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'dforget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real stretch.


Boot camp would be easier for oldguys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used tosoft food. We've also developed an appreciation for guns. We've been usingthem for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any push ups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too.I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.


An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him.. He's stilllearning to shave, to start up a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head.

These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists.The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple of million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons who know that their best years are already behind them.

***How about recruiting Women over 50 ....with PMS !!! You think men have attitudes !!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my Lord!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol....we will have it secured the first night!


I'm not really over 60 but this is funny!!

[tiger-55]

Thas true my friend. How ya doing bart long time no see where ya been hiding bud, nice to see ya.