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Old October 14th, 2008   #1 (permalink)
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Talking Jokes to Offend Everyone

* Please do not respond by saying you were offended.
Jokes are suposed to offend...that's what makes them funny.
Get over it...it's only a joke.

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JOKES TO OFFEND EVERYONE
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?



Juan on Juan





What is a Yankee?




The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.








What is the difference between a Harley and aHoover ?




The position of the dirt bag.





Why is divorce so expensive?


Because it's worth it.





What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?




Doughnuts.




Why is air a lot like sex?


Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.






What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.






What do attorneys use for birth control?


Their personalities.






What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?


10 years and 45 lbs.






What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?




45 minutes.






What's the fastest way to a man's heart?




Through his chest with a sharp knife.






Why do men want to marry virgins?




They can't stand criticism.






Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?




Because those men already have boyfriends.






What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?


After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.






Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?




The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.






Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?




Because they have cotton balls.






What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?




A porcupine has the p r i c k s on the outside.







What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?


'Are you sure it's mine?'






Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?




Mace will do that to you.






Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?




Everyone has the same DNA.





Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?




Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.






Where does an Irish family go on vacation?




A different bar.





Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?




They named him 'Sum Ting Wong'.





What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment.





What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?



A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... 'a recipe'.






How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?


Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!






What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?




A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time .' -


A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this s**t....
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Old October 14th, 2008   #2 (permalink)
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Re: Jokes to Offend Everyone

You know SJ, Im really Po'd it took this long today to get a real good laugh.

Thanks, that was good.
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Old October 14th, 2008   #3 (permalink)
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Re: Jokes to Offend Everyone

my side hurts... juan on juan, roflol!!
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Old October 14th, 2008   #4 (permalink)
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Re: Jokes to Offend Everyone

what's funny about that last one? it's how all fairytales start aint it?
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Old October 14th, 2008   #5 (permalink)
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Re: Jokes to Offend Everyone

good ones sat. here's another:


what does a girl from west virginia say after having sex?



roll over daddy, you're crushing my cigarettes
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Old October 14th, 2008   #6 (permalink)
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Re: Jokes to Offend Everyone

LOL that was REALLY funny, nice one satjunkie, you made me a good laugh
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Old October 14th, 2008   #7 (permalink)
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Re: Jokes to Offend Everyone

man i needed that thanks sj
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Old October 14th, 2008   #8 (permalink)
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Re: Jokes to Offend Everyone

[quote=SatelliteJunkie;494892]
* Please do not respond by saying you were offended.
__________________________________________________ ____

offended hell they were funny
good ones SatelliteJunkie

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Old October 15th, 2008   #9 (permalink)
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Re: Jokes to Offend Everyone

it is very good
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Old October 15th, 2008   #10 (permalink)
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Cool Re: Jokes to Offend Everyone

Are you making fun of me because i'm an Italian/Mexican,Harley riding,doughnut eating Hoover repairman??That's just not funny!!I'm insulted and going to tell someone who cares...it may take me awhile...but i'll find somebody...keep it up and you will be BANNED...lol...chachi...
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Old October 15th, 2008   #11 (permalink)
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Re: Jokes to Offend Everyone

thanks i like them
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Old October 16th, 2008   #12 (permalink)
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Re: Jokes to Offend Everyone

that was funny as hell
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