New Stock Market Terms/Must Read

[SATMAN8]

We can laugh or we can cry...let's get our small laugh (o.k. small smile) in first. )
NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS
Would be funny if it weren't so true.


NEW STOCK MARKET TERMS

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

[bigevil69]

those seem to be true now

[cisco123]

spot on my man.

[MgGibson2]

I sure am feelin the heat from alot of that....
Lost my job (company went bankrupt), lost my big bad $40k Truck (repossesed), cell phones gone,DTV sub gone, loosin' everything...Bush got this "World" in one heck of a pickle.... you nailed it with those "terms"